Freedom
by witless
Summary: "Suicide was something that had intrigued Eli since the night Julia had gotten hit by the car. The idea of finally being free." AU suicide fic. Welp.


Eli had been wandering the streets for a couple of hours now, finally ending up at the park not very far from his house. Everything had come crashing down on him. The fight with Katie, the breakup with Imogen, finding out she'd cheated on him with Owen - or so he thought anyways, then another fight with Imogen. It was like no matter what Eli did he couldn't win. Not with Clare, or Imogen. Not with anyone. But after being told Imogen had cheated on him, that really was the last straw. It was proof that he was just a mere pawn in her little game. A mindless idiot, if you will. Either way he couldn't take it anymore, so he left the house with his bottle of pills in hand. A quick goodbye was exchanged between he and his parents but nothing more than just that. He couldn't bring himself to even mention what he wanted to do or ask them for help. He hadn't bothered to bring his cellphone with him in fear that he'd try to call someone once the deed was done, thus ruining his entire plan. Well, it wasn't entirely a plan. Suicide was something that had intrigued Eli since the night Julia had gotten hit by the car. The idea of finally being free.. from the peers at school to the voices that taunted him on a daily basis. From everything. That sounded nothing short of perfection to him though he'd never sought out to actually attempt it. "I want to get better for me," he had told Bullfrog. Better to him wasn't taking those damn pills that just turned him into a zombie or talking to someone who was paid to care about what he had to say. Better to him was getting that freedom. It was so selfish, but at this point all of Eli's hope had been abandoned. Exasperation had grown from his constant hurting. He'd battled against depression for too long; Cece and Bullfrog would understand. It wasn't as if they couldn't have seen it coming, anyways. Eli's mental instability had just been getting worse day by day, every little thing seeming to set him off.

The rain had picked up, matting his hair to his forehead and his shirt to his thin torso. The normally annoying feeling of tight, wet clothing wasn't there, though. He didn't care as he started to get soaked. What would have been the point? He would have had to go home to finish what he'd started, but he'd be questioned by his parents as to why he'd left the house in the first place. Plus he didn't have that damn lock on his door anymore since they said they were afraid of what he'd do and they wanted to be able to get to him at all times. But he couldn't do that Cece and Bullfrog. He couldn't let them be the ones to find their lifeless son on his bed when they came to check on him that night or the next morning. His lips pulled into a frown at the image that had come to his mind, but that didn't stop him. He slipped some of the pills into his mouth, gathering up enough saliva to swallow them all. They were going to have that same reaction, regardless of whether or not they were the ones to find him.

Now the only thing on his mind now were the people who were going to suffer because of his selfish act. His parents. Adam. Imogen. Maybe Katie or Clare. His lips trembled as he thought of how close he'd grown to all of them and now he didn't even have enough nerve to tell them goodbye or even talk about his suicidal thoughts to them. The guilt was building in the pit of his stomach but he couldn't back out now. He washed away any happy memories he had of them. Newer, negative ones began to flood his mind instead. The fight with Katie; she had been right all along. He was nothing but pathetic. Everything he had was a lie. Then the breakup with Imogen. God, why did she have to lie to him? Everything had been going so fucking perfectly. They didn't fight when they were together.. it was all smiles. They could openly joke about things and she knew everything to say or do to satisfy him. He clenched his eyes shut at the flashbacks, hands reaching towards the pill bottle that was sitting beside him. He twisted the cap off to grab a few more pills to dry swallow them one by one, wishing he had anything that would have helped wash them all down.

The numbness was slowly making its way into his body from the first set of pills he'd taken and he began to find it hard to concentrate on things. He slumped against the bench - the same bench that started that stupid relationship with Imogen - letting out a heavy sigh as the rain continued to soak him. "What a way to fucking go," he said aloud, a harsh laughing following as he shook his head. He pulled his legs up into the bench to lay down on his side, fighting to keep his eyelids from closing as he gazed around the darkened park. Sometime tomorrow little kids would be running around here screaming and laughing, if the rain subsided that was, so oblivious to what had happened the night before. Maybe their parents would know, but they wouldn't care. 'Oh, he's just another statistic.' He could hear it playing out in his mind now, the sound of the rain growing fuzzy. They'd call him morbid; some kind of freak. He was used to it, though he shouldn't have been. But Eli always had to put himself out there just to be different. He tried to pull his lips into a grin at the thought of freaking out people when they found him the next morning - soaked and ice cold - but even that simple task had become almost impossible with the effects of the medication running through his system. He stopped battling the urge to close his eyes, letting them slowly fall shut, his breathing now lethargic. But just when he thought he was on his way to freedom he could hear the faint sound of a man screaming his name, only growing louder and louder as he ran towards him.


End file.
